A woman has been left upset with the state of Parkside Cemetery in Gerrards Cross, as contractors were brought in to clear objects from graves in the area which don't follow specific cemetery guidelines.

The woman, who's father was recently buried at Parkside, told the Bucks Free Press that a skip has been filled with flowers, both artificial and real, and various other objects placed on graves, much to the heartbreak of families who have loved ones there.

There are regulations which state that artificial flowers, and other objects such as candles and letters aren't permitted on graves, rules which the woman understands.

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However she feels this matter has been dealt with insensitively.

She said: "Contractors have been brought in and have stripped graves throwing everything in a skip.

"This could of been handled in a much more sensitive way.

"Teddy bears have been taken of children's graves, fresh flowers in baskets thrown away, and fresh flowers (which are allowed)have been removed from graves that aren't even a month old, leaving them bare with not even a name, and all cards have been removed."

She then speaks of the impact this has had on her and other people who visit the resting place, adding: "I have seen elderly people visiting graves of their loved ones very confused as keepsakes have been taken away from graves.

"The cemetery looks destroyed and no longer a peaceful place of rest, just a muddy field with no heart and a sense of coldness.

"I have relatives buried here and it breaks my heart."

Of the issue councillor Luisa Sullivan said: “We are very sorry that this has caused upset – that was certainly not the intention.

"There are many different ways people express their affection for loved ones who have passed away and it is a difficult balancing act to accommodate as many of these as we can, whilst keeping the cemetery tidy, peaceful and safe.

"We get more complaints about what is left on graves than we get about what we remove.

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"If we have been insensitive in the way we have gone about the task, we sincerely apologise."

The skip in the cemetery is pictured below showing some of the objects which have been discarded.

Bucks Free Press: Bucks Free Press:

Ms Sullivan explained that over Christmas wreaths are often left on graves, and that there is signage stating these will be removed in January, much of which the skip is filled with.

She added: "I can confirm that families were written to and notices have been displayed at the cemetery since November informing users of the impending removal work.” 

The woman who spoke to the Bucks Free Press hopes the issue will be dealt with more sensitively in the future, but remains upset as she reports that fresh cut flowers were removed from her fathers grave when he had been buried for less than a month, which should be permitted as it follows the cemetery guidelines.

The full statement from the council can be found below.

“We are very sorry that this has caused upset – that was certainly not the intention.

“All our cemeteries are special, sacred spaces and we endeavour to keep them as peaceful, beautiful and well-kept as we can for all our visitors, staff and contractors. We understand that it is important for people to have a place where they can express their grief and mourn their loved ones and we try to enable this in as sensitive a way as we can. There are many different ways people express their affection for loved ones who have passed away and it is a difficult balancing act to accommodate as many of these as we can, whilst keeping the cemetery tidy, peaceful and safe. We get more complaints about what is left on graves than we get about what we remove. If we have been insensitive in the way we have gone about the task, we sincerely apologise.
 
“The regulations mentioned haven’t changed, they have been the same since the cemetery was opened. Over the years more and more items have been left on graves and we have been trying to gradually bring the cemetery back to the way it was intended.
We remove stones and pebbles from around the gravestones and replace them with topsoil and grass seed because the pebbles are dangerous when we carry out the grass cutting. The stones get propelled in the air and can fly long distances at considerable speed, causing potential damage and injury to visitors. We cannot risk that happening. The same goes for glass jars, vases and ornaments. We have been letting people know that we are going to remove such items through notices at the cemetery and by letter.

“We always have a period over Christmas when visitors are allowed to leave wreaths on graves. We have a notice up from November to let people know that these will be removed during the third week of January. Much of what is in the skip are those Christmas decorations. Grave ornaments have been placed next to the skip so that families are able to collect them if they wish. Flowers that are left after funerals are generally removed once they have past their best. In the frosty weather, this can be quite soon after they have been placed.
 
“Carrying out the clearing of the Christmas decorations and pebbles can feel very unsettling and we’d like to reassure all of our visitors that we try to do this with sensitivity. The long term goal is to keep the cemetery looking beautiful; a fitting place of memorial for all the people buried here and a safe place for our visitors.”

"We appreciate this is an extremely sensitive and emotional issue and we are trying to respect all users of Parkside Cemetery and we are very sorry to hear that this has caused upset. However, South Bucks District Council is responsible for the upkeep of the cemetery to ensure it is safe, accessible and presentable for all people who come to visit graves.

“I can confirm that families were written to and notices have been displayed at the cemetery since November informing users of the impending removal work.”